Wanna relapse???

6 Apr

Don’t. Just don’t. Okay, you don’t wanna listen, you don’t wanna hear it, I know. It’s ok. Go ahead then. But before, take two minutes to read this.

  • you know what you’re feeling like afterwards. You are happy for… 10 minutes? It’s great… it’s a rush … but at what price? You gonna pay! Each time, you gonna be charged more and more. It’s just not worth it…
  • wait, I know this excuse. You’re hungry and you just can’t deal with it. My gosh, calm down! Sit here and take a few conscious breaths. I know you’ve got some brains in there, so plaese use them, for once!
  • It’s a vicious circle. Binge purging never helped anyone to lose weight. It messes up you metabolism, that’s all. It helps you with nothing. Putting a little food in your stomach and keeping it down would be the more reasonable decision. Even if you are on a diet. However, keep in mind starving triggers purging. It swings back and forth like a pendulum, unless you stop it in the middle.
  • all right, so you have to put something in your system? Then, choose water. Fill yourself up. Wait until it’s through. And then think again.
  • you’re already angry now… and you will be so much more angry when you actually do it. I hear you saying “Screw you! Fuck it”. Here’s what will happen: it will screw you!

Don’t, don’t don’t!!! YOU DON”T WANT THIS!

Go out of the house now, take your notebook, your pen, move, kick your butt.

There’s so many ways other than this.

I see you on your knees, I see you crying in front of the toilet. I see the fear in your eyes. May I spare you the other details? Cause you know them…

You might feel safe doing it now. But you remember the terrible pain in your kidneys! You remember the stomach ache. And you know it won’t go on like this forever. Actually,  it’s in your hands to determine where this ends. You’re standing at an intersection. There’s many stony roads. But DON’T take the one leading into a DEAD end!


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3 Responses to “Wanna relapse???”

  1. Lizzy April 7, 2010 at 12:35 am #

    Oh, how I know that viscious circle. But I have stopped that pendulum. I never want to relapse again. May God’s healing grace be with us.

  2. devigoesusa April 7, 2010 at 12:39 am #

    Not wanting to is the first step… of a long journey!
    However… praying or meditation helps a lot. It can guide you back to your inner voice. And God lives within us, doesn’t he? So this inner voice is God’s voice, in the end!

  3. hereisyourletter April 24, 2010 at 9:50 pm #

    My relapses arent exactly like this, but the way you describe the feelings and emotions – pretty much similar. I feel like I want it. I feel like Ive been doing well so I can earn it. But I dont deserve it. I need to stop wanting it. Because afterwards and during I’m not bothered about what I eat.

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