Bless you!

28 Apr

Don’t laugh. This might actually sound like a pretty silly thing to do. But it works. Okay, so maybe you want to laugh at it, that’s fine, actually, that’s good! And then, do it in spite of yourself!

It’s one of those dark moments in life (even though it’s a wonderful spring day, the sun is out and it’s really nice. But none of that come through to me…). The black clouds in my mind are too real, my head hurts, I feel weak and exhausted and I’m just tired of all of this. Maybe one of those rays of light actually reach me, I don’t know what made me think of this. But I have a friend who sits down every now and then and counts his blessing. It’s kind of a weird thing to me. I am not a lucky person, not blessed – so why taking the effort at all? Pity Party!!!

Maybe exhaustion kept me from thinking straight or I just didn’t care anymore. I gave it a shot! I told myself  “Alright, you stop feeling so sorry for yourself now, girl! Kick yourself in the butt, get up from your knees when there’s no need to crawl around and count your stupid blessings!!!” At this particular moment, as I was walking around, I had to laugh out loud. In the middle of a public park, crowded with soccer moms and their kids. How silly! I was trying to count my blessing, to show gratitude, look at the things I was thankful for in my life, things and people that were good for me. At the same time, what did I do? I addressed myself in a cruel and disrespectful manner, reflecting all my self-hatred and negative out view on life! Oh my gosh, I just can’t let it be! But at this particular moment, I broke the cycle because I noticed what I was doing. And I laughed at it, then I let it go. This laugh was like giving myself a big hugh. Telling me that it’s ok. That I really did not care about the people staring at me because of my random fit of laughter. And that I could go ahead and count my blessings now.

(I got up to 19. One for each year of my life. Not bad for a beginner. And here’s one more: I am grateful for having this blog, having people out there, who read it and being able to share. And I am grateful that I had my little notebook with me this afternoon so I could write everything down.)

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4 Responses to “Bless you!”

  1. Lizzy April 28, 2010 at 1:57 am #

    Good for you!!! Keep counting those blessings. Not only the big things. Even the smallest of the small are blessings of great comfort and love from God above!

    God bless you!

  2. devigoesusa April 28, 2010 at 2:33 am #

    Definitelly count the small things! You know what else was on my list? Here’s some more of it:
    * the swimming pool (and I really mean just for relaxing 😉 )
    * the wind on my face
    * Daisies (my favorite flowers)
    * the library
    * Meeting the right people at the right time
    * Inspiration. Magic. Words. Arts.

  3. Adriana May 28, 2010 at 11:50 pm #

    I don´t know how I found this blog. I´m far away from your country and I don´t know you, but I really appreciate all this awesome things you write, they make me feel I´m not alone. I try to read you everytime I can, it has been a pleasure. In those moments when it´s dark, you are a ray of light in my life…

  4. Liz May 29, 2010 at 7:37 pm #

    Thanks for posting this.
    Im grateful for a lot of things. I should remind myself more often.

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