Counting the days

29 Oct

There are unwritten laws of conversation. The first question when you meet someone usually is “How are you doing? What’s up? How have you been?” or one the many corresponding sentences. That’s what I ask all my friends.

However, there are  friends who are also fellow sufferers. Some are bulimic, some anorexic, some of them have another addiction. Our conversations start the same way, followed by some talk about random things. But at one point, there’s a little gap, silence for just a split second. Then, the conversation takes a turn. “And apart from that, how have you been?” The same question again? No. We know exactly what we mean. “How long has it been? How long have you been sober?” That’s another question we simply have to ask. I never expect an honest answer to that one. It comes with the addiction, everyone is used to lie about the details, without the spirit of mischief, it’s by the force of habit. Not all the answers the that question are lies though. “48 days! I’ve been sober for 48 days now!”, friend of mine told me proudly.

She knew the exact number of days, and it wouldn’t have surprised me, if she came up with some precise time.

Counting every day is quite an effort. I always feel sorry if someone tells me the exact number of days that she or he has been sober. As long as you’re able to do that, the addiction still accompanies you. Every hour you count, it’s with you. Just behind the corner. Counting the days turns into counting down the days. Counting down to the next relapse.


3 Responses to “Counting the days”

  1. Lizzy October 30, 2010 at 12:05 am #

    I never really looked at it that way… It’s like another number to count.

  2. crescendobird October 30, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    Heh, yeah, it’s all about numbers and counting, isn’t it?

  3. devigoesusa October 30, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

    True, it’s all about the numbers! And we forget the things that really count…

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