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Same old friend, same old story…

10 Jul

Is it possible to get well again, for good? No relapses, no sick thoughts? Just being healthy? I don’t have the answers. Sometimes, I think, yes, of course and I’ll be healthy, sometimes I think, no, it’s just not possible. However, I just heard from a friend of mine and what she told me makes me sad…

I have know her for eight years now… we got to know each other at a treatment center for eating disorders. We were both very, very young. It seems like we knew NOTHING at all about everything that was going on. However, we shared a room. So she was the first person I really got to know at that place. It’s kind of awkward ┬áto remember that time now, it all seems so unreal! At that point, we didn’t know that we still had such a long way to go!

For a time, we lost the contact… but we’ve been back in touch for about two years I think. I know what happened to her after she was at the treatment center and it wasn’t all happy go lucky… But slowly, over the years, she gained back control. Control over her life! She struggled with depression once, but the eating seemed to be no issue anymore.

Well, what she told me now: She struggles once again. There are these thought she should not have anymore. Sure, her life isn’t easy right now. There’s insecurity, there is anorexia… at least in her thoughts, she’s there! So my friend is looking for a place in therapy once again.

It always makes me sad to hear things like this. I mean, I am glad she tells me! And I am struggling myself, so actually I should not consider this to be a big deal. It is, though. To be honest, I don’t always tell her everything about my struggles with life. Food included. Probably she doesn’t know as much about my problems as I do about hers. But still. She was fine, she was happy. And things can change so fast. If I think about it… someone who once had an eating disorder can’t be simply okay again. At some time of your life, at least that little voice will come back. You might not listen to it anymore. It gets less noisy and it will stop. But you can never be rid of it for good.

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Long way to go…

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